How Jesus Handled Grief

How Jesus Handled Grief

by Caleb Daniel

The morning service I attended today was about the feeding of the 5,000, which is not an unusual passage to speak about. The unusual part was that we first looked at the circumstances immediately before the feeding miracle.

In the first twelve verses of Matthew 14, we read how King Herod had John the Baptist beheaded to please a dancer he fancied. Verse 13 then says this: "When Jesus heart it, He departed from there by boat to a deserted place by Himself..."

John was Jesus' cousin, and one of his closest friends. They had interacted even before they were born (Luke 1:41). John had devoted his life to preparing the way for his cousin the Messiah, and now he was dead.

Like most people when dealing with the grief of a great tragedy, Jesus desired to be left alone. But did he get what he wanted? The rest of verse 13 says: "...But when the multitudes heard it, they followed Him on foot from the cities."

His friend had just been beheaded, and all Jesus wanted was a little privacy. But this selfish mob kept following him, hoping that he could fix all their little problems and illnesses.

When something undesirable happens in our lives, we often use it as an excuse to shut down. We stop trying to be kind to others, we slack off, we stop trying to live as God has called us to live. We just curl up in a metaphorical ball and push the world out.

Is that how Christ handled his grief? Verse 14: "And when Jesus went out He saw a great multitude; and He was moved with compassion for them, and healed their sick."

We know the rest of the story. Jesus didn't just heal their sick, he later fed the entire throng with just five loaves and two fish.

When considered in context of what had previously taken place, Christ's actions are even more remarkable and marvelous. Despite his own deep personal grief, Jesus was still capable of having compassion for those around him. He didn't concentrate on his own problems, but ministered to the problems of others.

Think about it. Jesus' cousin and friend had just been beheaded. Jesus knew that soon he too would have to die in an even more brutal fashion. Surely he had a good reason to focus on himself more than any of us! Now these ungrateful peasants were flocking around him yet again. They didn't care about his grief, they just wanted their healing and their miracles. 

When something doesn't go our way, we often discount the problems and concerns of others. "So what if I was mean to him, he has no idea what I'm going through!" Jesus had more of a right to blow off others at that point than any of us have today.

But he didn't. He was moved to compassion. He felt the needs of others more strongly than his own. He put aside his own mourning and worked to better the lives of those around him.

I had never looked at the feeding of the 5,000 from this angle before. I was inspired to never again use my poor circumstances as an excuse to stop ministering to others. I hope anyone who reads this feels the same.

Romans 14:4- Judging One Another

Romans 14:4

Judging One Another

by Caleb Daniel

This morning I was studying Romans 14, and I came across a new perspective on a familiar verse.

The key text is in verse 4, but here is verses 1-4 for a little context:

"1 Now accept the one who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions.

2One person has faith that he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats vegetables only.3The one who eats is not to regard with contempt the one who does not eat, and the one who does not eat is not to judge the one who eats, for God has accepted him.4Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand." (New American Standard Version)
My focus here is on verse 4: "Who are you to judge the servant of another?" I am by no means a Biblical scholar, and I have not done exhaustive research on this verse, but I believe I learned something from it that people should know.
From my experience, I believe that there are two opposite extremes that one can fall into when interpreting and applying Romans 14:4 and the surrounding verses. I'm going to call one the Excuse Extreme, and the other the Condemnation Extreme. Let me explain what I mean.
THE EXCUSE EXTREME
I have seen this extreme a lot in Christian and secular society, especially among teenagers. People of this extreme look at the word "judge" in Romans 14:4 and other passages, and they interpret that word to mean "saying that some person or action is wrong." 
People of this extreme believe that because this verse says "who are you to judge..." that means that no one can call them out on any sinful behavior. They use this and similar verses as an excuse to avoid confrontation with believers who notice them doing wrong. People of this extreme are those who say things like, "You can't judge me!" or "The Bible says not to judge."
As a result, it is very difficult for fellow believers who are concerned with the wrong behavior of such a person to be of any help to them. How can they help these "Excuse Extreme" people see that what they are doing is wrong if they are seen as being sinfully judgmental?

THE CONDEMNATION EXTREME
This extreme is basically the exact opposite of the Excuse Extreme. These people often see believers of the other extreme, recognize their error, and want to be sure to avoid making the same mistake. These people realize that Romans 14 is in no way giving anyone an excuse to remain in their sinful behavior.
However, in their disgust for the Excuse Extreme, they go too far in the other direction. These people have a rigid and well-laid-out system of beliefs; if anyone goes against these beliefs, Condemnation Extremists will make personal judgments that go far beyond their authority to judge.
If they see someone engaging in obviously sinful behavior, Condemnation Extremists will assume that this person must have an awful relationship with God. They may even call into question this person's salvation.
Sometimes it's not just sinfulness that these people make personal judgments against. These believers often have a very specific belief on the Gospel and how to get to heaven, which is obviously good to have. However, if someone goes to a church or denomination whose "version" of the Gospel is even a tiny bit different, Condemnation Extremists will assume that this person is unsaved. They may think things like, "Oh, they believe in asking Jesus into their hearts. They're probably not actually saved."


As I read this text today, I was interested to see what the Greek word for "judge" meant at its roots. In multiple places, I found that the word here in verse 4 was "krinos." 
"Krinos" is most often used in the New Testament as the word "judge," but it more literally means "to separate, to pick out, to choose."
Ancient Greek writers like Homer, Herodotus, and Plato used "krinos" to mean "to pick out by separating."
I already knew enough of the actual meaning of the word "judge" to know how to combat the Excuse Extreme. When Paul says, "Who are you to judge another's servant?" he does not mean that no believer can call out a brother in Christ about their behavior. I mean, Paul called out people all the time, even the prominent apostle Peter!
So what does Paul mean? I think that when one looks at the literal meaning of "judge" here, it's clear that "judging" someone means to separate that person in your mind. If I look at someone who is living in sinful behavior, and I determine that he must not be saved, that is an example of the "judgment" that Paul commands us not to pass on one another. 
If I see my friend is stuck in sin, I can absolutely realize that what he is doing is wrong, and I should call him out on it if necessary. If he tries to hide behind the excuse that I cannot "judge" him or his behavior, he is misinterpreting God's Word.
However, as I learned anew today, if someone of the Condemnation Extreme looks at my friend and determines that he probably isn't saved, or if he assumes that my friend's walk with God must be completely out of whack, then he is also misinterpreting the Bible. This Condemnation Extremist is doing the kind of "picking out by separating" that God does not want us to participate in. 
We do not know the story of everyone who believes a certain doctrine or is engaging in a certain sin. They could be a much more holy believer than you, and you just caught them at a bad time. Or even though maybe their version of salvation is one jot or tittle different from yours, but God sees his heart and knows that he believes.
Conversely, if someone you know is engaging in sin, it is your duty as a brother in Christ to help him reach a point of repentance if necessary. You will not be breaking God's commandment not to judge if you talk to someone about their sin, as long as you do it in a spirit of love. Also, if someone believes a completely different gospel message than the one you know to be the truth, it is your duty to attempt to set them straight, again in love.
The key distinction is to judge the action, not the person. Sin is sick and disgusting, but that does not mean the sinner is sick and disgusting. Errant doctrine is dangerous and sometimes ludicrous, but that does not mean a believer of that doctrine is dangerous or ludicrous. Do not condemn anyone to hell: that's not your job! As our key text says, "To his master he stands or falls." God is the master of all, and He will pass sentence on all. Let Him take care of it.
In conclusion, no one can hide behind the excuse of "no one can judge me but God" so that they can keep sinning. However, no one can condemn the character or eternal destination of others, because that is God's job, and His alone.
I really hope I explained my observations and feelings accurately. These verses struck me very strongly today, and I just felt that I needed to get it all written out. I hope that someone reading this is inspired the way I was.
This is not a blog that I will be updating on a regular, scheduled basis. In my study of the Word, if I am deeply struck by something, perhaps I will post it. I hope at least one person was impacted by this post.